From The Movie – Bridesmaids
Choosing your bridesmaids is sometimes more difficult, as you are merging two families into one, which can often lead to requests, expectations, confusion and even stress. After all this is supposed to be your day, your way right? Relax…. and remember what is important. You need to arrive at a list of your bridesmaids that pleases everyone, especially you!
What is important is that you choose the people to whom you are closest to be part of your wedding party. Aesthetically, the same number of attendants on both sides looks best, but there is no rule that says they have to match.
Start by writing your wish list of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. Next, add your fiancé’s picks, and those who would make political sense (your brother’s wife to make him happy, for example). See if there are natural groupings that would make choosing easier: all sisters, all school friends, just one sister and one friend, etc. If your list is still unwieldy, consider the following to help you eliminate people or decide their role.
First, think about their responsibilities. The maid of honour or chief Bridesmaid is generally the bride’s right-hand woman before and on the day of the wedding. Her main duties include planning the bridal shower/Hen Party and helping the bride select her gown and address invitations. The bridesmaids assist the maid of honour and bride. In the US The Maid of honour and Bridesmaids typically pay for their own dresses but here in Ireland, it appears the Bride is still the one paying for the gowns for the most part. Will this change in time? Who knows!
Then, factor in the lifestyle and current situation of those you intend to ask, and how it meshes or clashes with their responsibilities and your needs. For example, what if your sister lives in Australia and your best friend just lost her job, or if another friend is so swamped with work or a new baby that she barely squeezes in a phone call, much less time to plan a bridal bash. All these circumstances impact a potential maid’s ability to do the best job possible. That said, even if someone can’t be there physically, she may still provide valuable moral support. So decide what’s most important to you.
Popping The Question... Now the fun part—asking people to be in your party. Some brides try to avoid disappointing anyone by asking people they don’t really want to participate, assuming they’ll say no because they’re too busy or won’t be able to afford it. Big mistake: This approach can easily backfire. Some people are so honoured to be included that they’ll move the world to make it happen. Only ask those you’ll be thrilled to hear a “yes” from.
Plan a fun get together for you and your chosen bridesmaids, maybe a dinner and ask them all at once. You can then spend the evening making all kinds of plans for the months ahead. There are lots of cute ways to ask your bridesmaids, check out some ways on Pinterest.
Remember these ladies are going to be a group of ladies you love and who love you and together you will plan this journey to the most amazing day of your life. Make a pact to be open and honest and always try to keep each others feelings in mind. It can be contentious at times but it should be a wonderful experience that you all love and enjoy!